spncentral | When Jedi Fall. (Literally.)

They shouldn't have taken this mission, is all Kanan can think as he tries to fend off his opponent. Things started out well and went downhill fast with him not being entirely sure how. At least the others seem to be turning things around from what he can hear. Too bad he can't say the same.

He tries to retreat back another step but his foot lands on nothing and he falls off the edge of the platform, vaguely aware of Ezra screaming his name as he tries frantically to find a way to stop falling. Tries and fails. This is going to be a long way down.

*********************************************

Having returned to Odessen a few weeks ago, Garth'zel was in the middle of having Ezra work on gaining better control of his temper when he feels the Force do... something. Something massive.

Something prompts him to look up to see a figure falling and he automatically stretches out with the Force to try to slow the fall of whoever this person was, also reaching out to Ezra so they could make it a joint effort. "Ezra."

He doesn't need to say anything more than that, he hopes.

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He doesn't. Ezra looks up, attention tugged by something beyond just the fact that Garth'zel looked up, too, but he's already responding. They've been training together long enough for Ezra to barely need the prompt to raise his own hand and reach out to the Force. Not even a heartbeat passes before he can feel what Garth'zel is doing, and barely another passes before he's joined in, lending his Master his strength.

The figure slows in its plummet... and something pulls at Ezra's senses again. Something... something familiar. But he can't break his concentration now. Not when someone's life is on the line. Ezra screws his eyes shut, trying to shut the distraction out.

"You... got him...?"

It's hard, sustaining this kind of effort on another living being. Rocks and things are easy, no matter how big, compared to something with its own presence in the Force.

Edited Date: 2017-12-04 05:53 pm (UTC)

"I do," Garth'zel confirms, slowing the person down further to make his velocity just a bit less lethal. And then some. Even with said slow-down, it doesn't take long for the other individual to get close enough to see what he looked like.

It's not much longer until Garth'zel is setting the other man down gently on the ground.

********************************

Kanan had also felt the Force do... whatever it was it did, but it was a little hard to take much note of it when he was distracted by the small matter of falling to his death. A fall that took longer than it should have, really.

Then he felt his fall being slowed by someone using the Force, which was soon joined by a rather familiar presence also lending his own efforts. Which was a surprise, because Ezra was back where he fell.

Still, once he's settled on the ground, Ezra's signature in the Force was unmistakable. "Ezra."

Ezra's shoulder slump with relief when the man touches the ground, letting him release his hold on the Force. He hadn't even been the one doing the heavy lifting there, and it had still been tiring.

Tired or not, though, his eyes snap open at that voice. The feeling he'd been ignoring before because he couldn't afford to be distracted suddenly twists the world underneath him when his eyes land on the tall, lean, familiar figure of the man in front of him, never mind the beard and the mask. Stunned, like the breath's been stolen from his lungs, Ezra rocks back on his heels, eyes wide.

"Kanan?!" It is him, isn't it? He knows that face and that voice. More importantly, he knows that Force signature, even though he hasn't felt it for months - even though he thought he'd never feel it in the Force again. All else forgotten, he lurches out to connect with it.

Even though he has another bond that's been forming with the other man standing next to him.

"Kanan, you're- I thought you were- You're alive?!"

"Well, yes? Admittedly, I wouldn't be if you and your... friend hadn't caught me. That was a long fall that seems to have been longer than it should have been," Kanan says, cocking his head slightly as he tries to sort out Ezra's reaction. It seemed a little extreme.

"You were falling out of the sky. On a planet in which Ezra and I were--until you showed up--the only people on," Garth'zel says mildly. "You look remarkably well for a dead man."

"What? Refnar isn't heavily populated, but there is a population." Kanan is feeling more confused by the moment.

Garth'zel's quiet for a moment before speaking up again. "We're on Odessen, a planet in Wild Space. Let's just blame the Force for whatever's going on, shall we?"

If Kanan thinks Ezra's reaction is extreme, just wait until the boy launches himself at the man for a hug to end all hugs. He's not even going to question the mask and beard yet, just latch onto Kanan like he never wants to let go again.

"I haven't seen you for months," he says with a hitch in his voice that's close to a sob. He's not crying. He's not.

But it's a very near thing, the sting in his eyes stemmed only by the way that he's pressing his face into Kanan's shirt.

"I thought... I thought you were gone."

Kanan grunts as he's rocked back on his heels by the unexpected missile, arms automatically going around Ezra. "But I was just with you right before I fell."

Garth'zel walks forwards at a more sedate pace to rest a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "How about we all go onto the ship to sort this out there." Pause. "Yes, Ezra, that does mean letting go of him enough for the two of you to be able to walk."

"That's probably a good idea," Kanan agrees. "I didn't get your name..."

"Garth'zel. I found Ezra on Taris, where he'd been left behind after something had gone wrong. Then it was our turn to get out ahead of trouble," Garth'zel says, squeezing Ezra's shoulder slightly before releasing it to fold his arms across his chest.

Ezra bites his lip, memories surfacing about that day that the others had been forced to abandon him. It subdues him enough, too, to get him to let go, though he still sticks close to Kanan's side.

"Garth'zel's helped me a lot," he vouches, in case Kanan needs a reason to trust this stranger he's only just met. "He's saved my life and taught me a lot and..." And it's impossible for Ezra to sum everything up with just a few sentences. Garth'zel is right. They should probably find someplace to sit down.

With that squeeze of his shoulder, he glances at Garth'zel, then nods and tugs Kanan lightly, ready to obey without question. (Well, other than the fact that he isn't letting go of Kanan completely just yet. Just enough for them to walk.)

"He needed a new Master and he got one," Garth'zel says evenly as he turns to lead the way back to the ship. "Speaking of, obviously, we're not going to get any more of what we'd been working on done today."

"What were the two of you doing when I... arrived?" Kanan asks, trying to ignore the shock that had gone through him at the news Ezra had replaced him. Clearly not entirely willingly, given the way he's staying close, but still.

"Better control of his temper. He did a wonderful job of proving he needed to gain a better grip on it awhile ago, which resulted in him being grounded for around a month," Garth'zel says utterly dryly.

Ezra flushes at having his faults called out so openly, especially in front of his...

...his Master.

His former Master?

The protest forming on his lips dies with a swoop in his gut, guilt suddenly sticking in his throat. "I..." He swallows. "You were dead. Or I thought- I felt it." He looks up at Kanan, begging with his eyes for his Master- former- for Kanan to understand. Dammit, why does he have to wear that face plate? What is it even for anyway? "And I waited for months, but you never... Where were you?"

He didn't just replace him. Every fiber of his being wills for Kanan to believe him.

And while he's at it, too, he glances up at Garth'zel, torn in a way he never thought he could be.

As they walk, Kanan keeps a hand on Ezra's shoulder; partly using him as a guide and partly because Ezra seemed to need it.

"I don't know what's going on here, but I haven't died. Although I know I wasn't really of much help for anyone for a few months." Then the Bendu gave him the metaphorical kick in the ass he needed to get him to stop feeling sorry for himself and actually properly interact with the world around him.

Garth'zel just stays quiet, lowering the ramp of the ship and catching the Lothcat that darted down it with ease.

Kanan tilts his head when he hears it meow in protest. "Is that a Lothcat?"

"Yes, it is. It followed Ezra onto the ship when we were on Lothal and we didn't find it until after we were already in hyperspace," Garth'zel says with a look back at them before heading up the ramp.

Edited (Fixed a word.) Date: 2017-12-11 06:07 pm (UTC)

Ezra does need it, needs that stabilizing weight of comfort and trust, the silent assurance that things will be alright. Not that he's consciously aware enough of it to know that's what he needs, but it helps, something in him steadying just a little at the contact of Kanan's hand.

"She decided she likes me," he chips in. "I've been calling her Shadow." Partly because of her dark, speckled fur that lets her blend in with the darkness, letting her slip in and out unseen. But also partly because a shadow is almost like a ghost, and he's missed his family terribly.

Once they're inside, he hits the switch to close the ramp, then holds his arms out to the cat in Garth'zel's arms. Escape denied, the Lothcat squirms.

It says something that she doesn't unsheathe her claws on Garth'zel, though. Just makes a noise that might as well say "let me go."

"I see," Kanan says as Garth'zel releases the cat, letting it bound over to Ezra.

"I wasn't about to turn right back around and take her back, considering we left confusion and chaos in our wake," Garth'zel says in a vaguely amused tone as he makes for the lounge.

"You're with the Rebellion?" Kanan asks as he follows the sound of the other man's voice and his presence in the Force.

"No," Garth'zel says with an empathetic shake of his head. "We were just there because Ezra thought we needed to be. I had no intention of taking him anywhere near Lothal, since the Empire knew to look for him there."

The question, and Garth'zel's answer to it, makes Ezra flinch with guilt. Arms circling the cat as it jumps into his arms, he uses it as an excuse to drop his eyes, to fall back a step behind both men.

Are you with the Rebellion?

No. No, he's not anymore. All the decisions leading up to that had seemed to make sense at the time, but now that blunt answer makes him question them all.

"I... We had to lie low. They were hunting for me." Even as he says it, the excuse sounds hollow and lame. Just a thinly veiled admission that he gave up and ran. His shoulders hunch with shame.

Both men pause at what they're feeling from Ezra, Garth'zel looking back at him, and Kanan turning his head towards him as well.

"They're always looking for us. What made this time so different?" is all Kanan can think to say.

"The fact he's the only surviving member of your ship's crew," Garth'zel says bluntly. "You're only here because of whatever I felt the Force do. As for Ezra not being with the Rebellion anymore, the last time I tried to save the galaxy, I spent three thousand years in carbonite. The galaxy can look after itself. I have a teenager to raise."

"Three--what?!" Kanan doesn't know whether to believe the other man about how long he'd been in carbonite. How was surviving a stay in it for so long even possible?

"I wasn't doing any good without training. I couldn't even save you, or Hera, or... or anyone." He couldn't even save himself. Garth'zel had had to rescue him. The feeling of loss, of failure, thickens in his throat until he swallows. "And without you-" His voice threatens to crack, and he has to stop until he can brace it. "Without you, I was nothing." Not a Jedi, not an apprentice, just a scared kid living on the streets again.

Garth'zel had saved him from that.

(And yet, Ezra still can't look Kanan in the eye. Face plate. Whatever that thing on his face is.)

"The Inquisitors almost caught me. Would have, if Garth'zel hadn't been with me."

Edited Date: 2017-12-26 02:14 am (UTC)

Kanan and Garth'zel both start forwards, then stops as they realize the other one was apparently intending to do the same thing. After a moment, Kanan starts forwards again, Garth'zel staying behind for now.

He settles both hands on Ezra's shoulders and gives him a slight shake. "Stop that. You're not nothing. You not having enough training is on me." The other him. Whatever.

"On that last note, the communications link your group used isn't safe to use anymore," Garth'zel adds. "Ezra using it is what drew the Inquisitor who found him to him."

Edited (Fixed some repetitiveness.) Date: 2017-12-26 02:26 am (UTC)

The Loth-cat in Ezra's arms startles with even that light shake, and it jumps down and scampers away with the purring trill that all its kind make. Startled, too, Ezra looks up. (Hard to search Kanan's face, though, when he can't see the older man's eyes.) He shakes his head quickly, though, not wanting Kanan to blame himself.

"It's not a matter of you not training me enough. It's that I didn't- I don't know enough yet to make a difference. It doesn't matter why, it just is. Even with Garth'zel training me, I couldn't do anything against the last Inquisitor that found us." Instead, he'd just fallen right into a mind trap and stayed there until Garth'zel had rescued him.

Another example of how useless he is.

Though not all of it can be blamed on lack of training, a fact that he's reminded of with Garth'zel's warning. He grimaces, remembering how he hadn't even thought about the possibility that the communications link might not be secure anymore after the Ghost and its crew had been captured and probably tortured for information.

Tortured. Before they'd been killed. Grief wells up until Ezra bows his head, shoulders dropping. "There's no one to contact through it anymore anyway." Not that he has any proof of that, beyond the Inquisitor's word.

Except for the fact that the link had been compromised, and the months of silence since.

"Ezra, stop that," Garth'zel says firmly, moving forwards finally. "The man we ran into at Eedit wasn't an Inquisitor, he was a guard. One with more training than the Inquisitors have apparently been given." The second part was to Kanan.

"Eedit... Wasn't that a temple?" Kanan vaguely remembers the name and something about a battle being fought at or near it during the Clone Wars.

"Yes," Garth'zel says with a nod.

The tangent dealt with, Kanan shifts to be standing by Ezra and wraps an arm around him as he nudges the boy forwards. "Whatever happened, I'm sure they don't blame you and were glad you weren't with them."

He can deal with his own reaction to the others being dead later.

Words alone can't really pull Ezra out of a mire of emotions a year in making, but for his master - both his masters - he at least makes the attempt to push it aside. At least look like he can pull himself together.

No matter that attempt, though, when Kanan puts his arm around Ezra's shoulders, the boy can't help but lean into him. Doesn't matter that hugs aren't usually something he gets or gives, he just wants to drink this one in. It's tactile proof that Kanan's really here, he's alive, Ezra's not dreaming.

And dammit, he's just missed him.

"So... What happens now?" he finally asks, instead of answering either of the men. Better to just move the conversation on, he thinks. "Are you... staying? Or are you...?" He swallows. "Do we look for a way to send you back?"

Neither of the adults are fooled, but one thing at a time.

Kanan follows his sense of Garth'zel's presence as the other man switches direction to go back in the one they were originally going.

"How do you think my own Ezra feels?" Kanan asks gently but firmly. Of course he wants to try to find a way home.

He should have expected that answer, really. Should have known Kanan would want to go back to the family he was just taken from. And the thought of being in that Ezra's shoes, losing Kanan... Ezra bows his head, a lump in his throat. He can picture it too vividly.

Even so, he can't help but feel a crushing disappointment. Dammit, it's selfish, but he wants Kanan to stay here. If he has to pick an Ezra, why not him?

He already knows the answer to that, though. He isn't the Ezra Kanan belongs with. Ashamed for even thinking it, Ezra tries to push the disappointment back, with the rest of the emotions he's trying to lock away. Envy (even envying himself) isn't the Jedi path, or even the path he's walking with Garth'zel.

(Maybe if he keeps telling himself that, it won't hurt quite as much.)

"Maybe the ship's sensors picked up... whatever that was," he says, indirectly answering Kanan's question. He'll do what he can to help Kanan go home. Even if that home isn't here. "What do you think, Garth'zel?"

"It's possible," Garth'zel says, pretending not to have noticed Ezra's emotional issues just now. He can bring it up later when they're in private. "It's hard to say how much they caught until I've taken a look."

He considers things as he walks, electing to keep walking through the lounge to get to the cockpit when they reach it. "Ezra, why don't you get the two of you a drink while I go look at whatever the sensors picked up and see if it's something that actually makes sense."

That wasn't actually a question or request, no.

"I... guess I'll stay here," Kanan says, stretching out in the Force to try to 'see' where to sit. Dammit, he misses the Ghost. He knew where everything was.

Not a question or a request, and Ezra gets that, but he's not going to completely abandon Kanan just like that. "Here," he says, nudging Kanan to the left. "You can sit down over here." He hovers close enough to Kanan to offer himself as a guide if he wants it. Whether or not he does, Ezra will still wait until Kanan's situated before he leaves.

Privately, he's grateful for the opportunity Garth'zel's given him to collect himself.

Still, it'll only be a few minutes before he comes back with a couple of mugs in his hands. He holds one out to Kanan before sitting down next to him.

"I've been meaning to ask. Why are you wearing that mask?"

Kanan finds the seat without too much trouble, reaching out for his drink when Ezra returns, aware of Ezra holding it out for him, albeit not entirely certain where.

...Oh. Well. This is probably going to get awkward fast.

"Ezra," he starts before sighing. It'll be easier to just show him. He reaches up with his free hand to take his mask off, revealing his eyes and the scar crossing them.

Ezra goes still at the sight of those blank eyes and the faded red scar crossing over them. His own eyes widen, breath catching in his throat. "Kanan, your eyes," he chokes, an unknowing echo of another Ezra in another time. "What happened?" His drink sits in his hands, forgotten for the moment.

Who can think about food when they've just discovered their teacher is blind?